Soo clearly I didn't really follow through on all my promises about showing everyone what happened while I was in New York, or California, or Mexico but ill get there some day. Life just seems to be going in a ton of different directions lately that it all just seems so hard to sit down and do, plus I don't like to be on the computer a lot doing things like that because its not really my thing. but anyways.

So one day ill get on and do all that stuff and it will all be very cool!

..and heeeerrrreesssss, WHATS HAPPENED OVER TIME!!!!

Wow. So graduation was the last big thing on here huh? Well you'll all

be glad to know that I did in fact graduate. It was everything that I guess is was gonna be. Everybody makes all this nosie about graduation its self but I thought it was very "eh" and fast. We walked, we sat, we walked, we sat then we were done. It was a great experience though. It was kinda fun to be there one last time with everyone Id gone to school with for years and some people for alot of years. Me and my best friend Kareen walked together. Its something we always said we would do and then it was finally here and it was overwhelming to be there with her and know that we would go our separate ways in a few years. Life
was changing and there we were. It was fun though. All my friends and Family were t
here except Dallin but he was off at boot camp.

Zaks family had thrown me a graduation party the day before which turned out to be alot of fun. Alot of my friends from church came. A few from school. Mostly everyone I wanted to be there was. My family showed up for a little while and we all had a great time. I'm so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life and so many people that love me. It was a great party and I love Bonnie and Calvin so much for everything they did for me.

Shortly after graduation I packed my bags and Zak and I headed off to NEW YORK! It was such a fantastic trip, I wish I could go back everyday! There was so much to see and so much to do that we didn't have nearly enough time to do half of it! We staye

d at the Paramount Hotel off of Broadway and Time Square. It was a nice hotel, kinda a super small room but I guess it was big enough cause all we did was sleep there and we weren't in there very often anyways that it really didn't matter!

This was a picture of the city as we were driving from the airport when we first arrived!

This was the inside of our room, the lobby down stairs were David Cook played the next morning, and the outside.

I've decided that im going to finish this is a different way. Im gonna post the pictures on then write underthem so its easier but in a different blog..sooo enjoy these till im done

Oh life in the time of someone who's got no time for it

Ahhh well now... Lets just see where we are now.. I'd like to say way farhter behinde then even possible. Yikes! Well there's 34 days left until I graduate. Finalllly!!! It's so crazy to think that in so little time the day I have been waiting for for so long is finally here! It's seriously blowing my mind. Im truthfuly scared but super excited. I just cant wait to get going with the bigger, hopefully better part of my life.

Now on that note, I also got accepted into Central Washington University. It's a nice school in Ellensburg, WA. Im not completly sure that I want to go there, more so because I have never been there before but also because Im not sure thats just the place I want to be. I kinda wanna go somewhere completly new. But at the same time I dont wanna get to far away from the people here that I love. SO it's a bit of a sticky situation. But I am goona go down there maybe next week and just check the place out. See what it's like down there. Another thing is that I dont want to live on campus in the dorms. Which is a requirment for freshmen unless they live with someone else up there so im trying to figure that out alittle more as well. I have to figure out what im going to do for them by May 1st so it's gotta happen soon. So when I make up my mind I'll be sure to let you all know.

I have a new job. I started in Feb. I now work at Let's Party. It's a fun place to work. I get losts of hours and it's just a really nice place. Lots of fun ladies to work with and we certinaly have a lot of fun.

Me and Zak are doing great. Things had a bumpy start and somewhat middle but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's all I can do not to run for it and finally be there! Im so excited for life right now. Things between us are going really great and im so excited for the rest of whatever this turns out to be. He was such a great friend before we started dating and I was so worried that this wasnt going to go well when we ended it. But it's such a great feeling to know that I havent lost my friend and that through all this and our relationship that we are even better friends then before. Life will always be crazy between us and everyone else but im so ready for it. I think for the first time in all my life I can finally say that change hasent been the worst thing. Im finally excited for it. I never would have thought this could really be happening to me. It sounds so simple but for me its really the hardest part of life. Poo on change. But anyways...i digress

We accually just got back from a weekend at my grandmas house. It was really fun. The weather was nice and it was just a great chance to just relax and hang out. We went into town the first night we got there to grab some food and we pulled over to figure the place out we pulled in across the street from the firestation of all places and zak turns to me and says, "wouldnt it be cool if they got a call right now?" sure enought right after the words left his mouth the lights flipped on and out they came to leave on a call! haha it was the craziest thing ever! So of course we followed them in the direction of their call and that led us to all the places we wanted to be! It was so funny (and also a sweet call might I add)! We found everything that we were gonna need while we were up there so it was really nice.The next few days we just hung around the house and watched the planes take off and we found a cool way to get down the river where me and my sibilings would go with my grandma a million years ago! It was such a trip to be down there and find my grandmas old condo that I spent most of my childhood growing up in. Well until her new house of course. But there were deffinetly some of the greatest memories there. We found this really awesome trail and did alot of walking the few day we were there but it was just so nice out side and the trail was right on the river and in the woodland areaness that it was all so nice. It was really fun for me to be able to share some of my childhood with him. We walked down the this pond that she lived by and saw the ducks and walked along this little path there. I told him all about how me and my sisters and brother would come here when we were visiting and then we walked the same way down past the train tracks to the river like we always did and we even smashed some pennies(sssshhhhhhh)!!! It was such a fun weekend and im so glad that we went.

SOOOO now for my biggest news of all! Coming soon to me not near any of youu....only in regualr D not 3D..This summer on June 27th, 2011..my life proundly presentsssssssssss......................CHANDLER'S GOING TO NEW YORK, not the movie but the real thing!!!! It's booked and everything and im going!!!!!!Im really going baby!(did you get it?? That was suppossed to be like a movie thing...get it? Huh Huh??) So that's it. Im really going. Im so excited I can hardly wait. It's only like 50 days away and i cant even stand it. It's going to be the best thing ever and im going to do it!

Well anyways..i cant really think of anything else going on right now...so that it i guess until i remember anything else.

Oooooo

"I always thought as time went on things were suppossed to get easier...not life in gerneral but the hard things that happen to us. Doesnt everyone always say that "time heals all wounds" ? "just give it time".....well how long is that time exactly? When does alllll that time finaly start healing my owies? I think over all that through my whole ordeal type situation that I have been handling the whole thing farly well...and I have those days when things just arent okay and then I have those days when I think to myself, who cares? Get over it. Nothings worth this feeling..Just let it go. And most days I do. I go about my life as if nothing ever happend. As if nothings changed. And I typically feel really good about the whole thing. Im fine with it, everyone else is so good...heres to a new day...then all the sudden everythings are wrong again and some of the pure thoughts I have make me want to burst into tears and hide forever. Cause thats the only...real thing that works. Its just so frustrating to think that Im doing so well and then out of no where its all crumbling down and away... almost every part of me just wishes that things could be different so that they didnt have to be so hard for me....it sounds selffish but sometimes im so far beyond caring its crazy..."
This is a post that I started to write a while ago and stopped cause I had to go to work but at the same time never really intended on publishing..but then I thought to myself why not? This is the only way anything that happens in my life gets documented about and this was a huge part of a crazy hard part of my life and im not going back there so ill get it out and save it for me.. Its funny though because I sit here and read this and remember prefectly how I was feeling and how, what I was so poorly trying to explain, feels. It was an unpleasent time that I can honestly say im moving away from. Things are going really well for...maz. Life is moving on in the right ways and im becoming stronger in life and its funny how such a trivial situation can change you. But I have to say that im really excited for these changes in myself and in..my life. It's a different feeling to be able to watch yourself change and be able to see and except it. It's fun to know that even through everything life still goes on and it really can get better..and as hypocritical as is sounds with this...time really does heal all (well most) things.

My Grandma!

Oh what a wonderful life it is indeed...I have been slacking to say on my blogging and certainly on my blog reading but have yet somehow been very up to date on my facebooking and noticed a little while ago that my grandma crook had posted that she was cancer free. So I jumped on the blog about a week or so later and sure enough she is. I cant even begin to tell you what a relief I feel like has been lifted from my heart. I sat here and read for a while and then stopped to just sit and think about all this time and everything that has happened. I cant believe that in just little under a year she was diagnosed with cancer and now being declared cancer free. It seems like such a crazy world to me and I think to myself all those time when we tell ourselves "it's never going to happen to me" "it's never going to be someone I know" and how wrong we are. I love my grandma very much and she is a great woman and I'm so happy that I have her in my life forever! What a strong brave lady! Congratulations grandma. Your a real hero and I love you.

Its thankfuly friday!

Oh man am i glad that it's friday...it's been an unbelieveably long week for me. I havent really had much to do except some appointments but holy man it just seems like its gone on forever..im sure last weekend wasnt a help to my feeling this way but wow. I did have some really great things happen this week so i guess it hasent been a total loss.

Monday was an okay day..I had a long, ugly weekend so I was glad to be rid of it but also glad because monday was just a great day. Me and Zak had had a really great conversation the night before about everything and how crazy life has been the last month and all these things that we had left out in the open since we broke up. Im just super glad that we worked it out and that things are better. I think that this week has been the best one yet since we broke up. It's finly starting to feel like this is going to work and that it's going to continue this way..not like it did before. Im so excited for it. It's truly going to be awesome I think.

Tuesday was good because I had a hair appointment and those are my favorite cause I love getting my hair done. It's so nice. So I went there and got my hair did. I was going for just the dark brown that I had done before without any other color. It's a little darker than that and has some carmal peek a boo highlights. I love it! Its sooo cute. After that Dawni said she wanted to giveme a pedi cause me toes were lookin a little...not so cute..: ) so I went to her house and was gonna meet her so we could do it but ended up not unitl the next day so I hung out with hailli and Hillari and watched tv and talked for a while. It was alot of fun. I havent really hung out with them since before I moved the first time and it was just good to hang out and talk with them. Then Zak called me and thanked me for being his friend and hanging by him. I was taken a little aback by this cause I didnt know where it came from or what but It was nice to hear. It's a good feeling to know that even through everything that has been happening with us that we can still be friends and still just have that reaffirming knowledge that things are okay. It's nice.

Wednesday I had an eye appointment that went really well. I got a sweet pedi and got to hang out with Abreena and Alyssa for a little. I sure love them alot. They are such great girls.

Thursday I got a JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know work at Let's Party! Ha! Im so excited! My first day is tomorrow! I love working and im so excited to have a job again! It was a great way to end a potentialy not fun day for me! I am sooo happy! And I found the bestest new song by Micheal Buble! It's called Cry me a River! I think i like it so much because it's sooo....umm idk! Zak asked me if It was about us..i said no cause I dont think thats why I like it so much...wel I hope not at least ") its just soo good. I realy love his work! I also got to have the best lunch ever with Kareen and Grandma and Grandpa! They are so wonderful and I love them soooooooo much! Me and Dallin got all his stuff moved back in to our house last night to. It wasnt to bad, He had most of it packed up already o really it was just from one house to the other...not to bad not to bad...its gonna be fun having him back at home for a little while I think.. I sure missed him.

And Today...oh today! It's been a good day. Went to lunch with Kareen, watched Hercules in Mythology which was way good! And now im going to go spend the rest of the day with the 3 best kids in this world! What more could I ask for!? Life is going to be just fine I think!

Oh boyyy

Life's an interesting thing. It's got it's ups and downs. Its good times and bad times. You never quite know what to expect, and when you think you do your almost never right. It's a funny thing this life of ours. My life as of late has been something of a wurl-wind. Nothing seems to be going like it was and definitely not like I thought it was going to. Since my last post, or close to it, Samantha had a baby, me and Zak broke up, Dallin joined the Marines, I got new classes at school and I think that's close to it.

I just started my mythology class at school and I'm really excited about it. On my first day we started in on the very beginning of Greek and Roman mythology. It was so interesting!! I love this new class and I love that my best friend Kareen is in it with me. Its such an awesome class and we have an awesome teacher. Everything that we have learned so far has been great and I'm so glad that I took this class. It's all been so great.

Dallin has recently joined the Marines. He will leave for basics in May I think. I'm excited for him because I think that this is going to be a really great opportunity for him and I'm excited to see how well he does and how much he may enjoy himself after he comes back and has started such a great chapter in his life. I'm really proud of him and I love him very much. He's a great guy and he's doing good things.

So me and Zak broke up in the beginning of January. We decided that we were just going to be better off as friends. It has been hard for us with the distance and what not and we just both agreed that this was going to be the best thing for the both of us. We were really good friends before we started dating and so its been okay for us this last month. Its been a little hard getting used to the new relationship that we have but over all I'm really happy for us. I think that we are going to be really great together like this and I'm excited to have such a really awesome friend. I still think he's great guy and he is still my very best friend. There have been a few things between us that have been hard and there will be for a while as we get over everything. I'm really kinda excited though to have this chance. He was a great boyfriend and he treated me very well and I love him very much. But part of me is just so excited to be able to still have him in my life and at the same time have something else. That sounds really bad but then if you only knew it wouldn't! ")) Anyhow..its all good in the hood. The way I'm looking at it is that I may have lost my boyfriend but I gained something infinitely better!

Samantha had a baby! I now Have another wonderful beautiful absolutly perfect baby niece! Her name is Mckenize Eden Yellen. She is soo cute and soooo precious! Im so excited for her to grow up big and have three super duper cute not so very very new and little baby girls to paly with!